I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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