She's JV to your varsity
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
