i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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