he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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