I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
