Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
