Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Even my vagina gasped.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
