Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
