Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
