I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
you win again, gameday.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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