Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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