quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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