another moral hangover. fuck.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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