You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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