I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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