I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
