we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
