Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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