it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
