I got chris browned last night
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
