it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize