Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
We had sex on a dog bed..
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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