That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
