The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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