Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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