I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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