Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
the condom got lost in my hair
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
