i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize