there's paper in my vomit.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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