and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
