tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
