Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
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