I am puke
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
