are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
