We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
