Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
