thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
