I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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