is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
