I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
