After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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