I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Vodka?
Forever.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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