Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
