My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
try to milk me bitch
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