Yo dont text me then not text me
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
