shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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