Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Randomize
