Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Randomize
