batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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