hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
