so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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