waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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