I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
