just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
