yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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