Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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