wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I see more hoeing in ur future
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