I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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