you're like a bully in the Christmas story
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
