I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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