Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
