grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
