Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
