Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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