I hope mine doesn't look like that
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
