can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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