Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Randomize
