Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
