OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
