I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
