Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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