Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize