3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
