Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
