Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
