Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
