I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
