using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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