dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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