trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Less talking, more tequila
Houston, we have a blender
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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