I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
